10 ways to have a great marriage

1)      Make your relationship your #1 priority and keep it your # 1 priority.

2)     Learn and meet each other’s needs and speak each other’s love language. Men, read and learn about women and understand them and their needs. Women, read and learn about men and understand them and their own needs. # 1 key to success!

3)     Learn about each other daily and be a part of each other’s world.

4)     Always remember to be a team. Especially, when it comes to money, in laws, parenting, and your home.

5)     Give! Stop worrying about what your partner isn’t doing and focus on what you can do. Be positive and focus on the positive, not the negative! Don't take each other for granted.

6)     Be desirable through your thoughts, words, and actions. Watch your behaviors and eliminate the behaviors’ that makes you less desirable to your partner. Learn new behavior’s that brings you closer to each other.

7)     Show affection throughout the day and look good for each other.

8)    Make sure to have alone time together and make a plan to keep it going.

9)     Maintain a close friendship and have fun with each other.

10) Communicate in a healthy way and give each other the benefit of the doubt. Stay away from 4 dangerous behaviors: Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling (usually, men do this last one).

Why men cheat?

Experts have different opinions why men cheat. Of course there are men out there who choose to cheat because they care more about themselves then their partner and choose to be unfaithful. Then there are men who cheat because they have a powerful role and some powerful men sometimes feel an unwarranted sense of entitlement. When a person is in a high position of power, especially a man, there is a sense of entitlement and a sense of being...above the law because of the importance of what they do - because of the importance of who they are. However there are many more men out there that cheat because they are missing something physically, mentally, or emotionally in their relationship with someone. This “someone” may be with themselves or their partner.

It is important to understand that many men cheat because men need validation. When they come into the world they are born of women and getting their validation from mommy is the beginning of needing it from a woman. And when the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like a hero, he's very susceptible to the charms of some other woman making him feel what he needs. And these days women don't spend a lot of time thinking about how they can give a man what they need…it is more about what they need.  

5 ways to better communicate with your man & 6 ways to fight better

5 ways to better communicate with your man

1)      Put the point up front and get to the point.

2)     Use fewer words by stating the point and stopping.

3)     Talk in his language by understanding him and what he may need or be looking for.

4)     Give him time to respond and think about what was said by you.

5)     Watch your timing.  Football game  + talking about a problem = L

6 tips for “fighting better/less” with your man

1)      Take the lead. Tell him what your needs are.

2)     Use your listening skills and listen more than you talk.

3)     Consider both sides and give him the benefit of the doubt.

4)     Use soft start-ups and be positive verses negative.

5)     Use feminine strengths-your touch and warmth.

6)     Pile on compliments throughout the days.

The secrets of happily married women...how to get more out of your relationship by doing less

“Happily married women are the ones who know how, seemingly effortlessly, to shape the kind of loving relationship they desire. They have mastered the magic of touching a man so deeply that he wants to be more—he wants to be better.”

Secret 1: Know your husband

Understand his true nature and then use that information to your advantage. There are many reasons why men see the world differently than women, and knowing those differences give women the remarkable opportunity to get exactly what they want and need out of their marriages. Get a snapshot of who your husband really is. With that understanding, you will soon be doing less work and getting more love.

Men need respect and need to feel cared for.

Men need acknowledgement of their efforts.

Men have trouble verbalizing love and regret and communicate differently.  

Men need to protect their families and need and want to work.

Men need to be in control and not have you take all the control from them.

Men need action and want to be better for their families.

(Most good men)

Secret 2: Nurture his needs and yours

Understand his needs by first asking him what his needs are to meet. Next, nurture his needs and make them a priority. Remember the saying “give and you shall receive”? If you give to someone genuine happiness by catering to that person’s needs (even when you don’t always agree or fully understand), you are far more likely to receive kindness and happiness in return. And when your husband catches on, that your marriage is based on a willingness to understand each other and to respect each other, it won’t be long before his inborn desire to do the same for you blossoms—making your life a whole lot easier. A happy marriage does not keep tally or keep score…they both just give and continue to give every day!

Secret 3: Fight better

Remind yourself before an argument, that you are in this for the long run and that you are obviously going to make up eventually. This can make it easier for you to not argue so much and make up sooner than later. Fight better by realizing arguing is one technique that allows you to learn what you both need out of each other. Men are logical, don’t like to be attacked, and don’t like to argue. When you constantly argue with them and are against them, they will soon stonewall and grow distant from you. Don’t wonder why they are so cold when you have pushed them away over and over again. Be positive, give the benefit of the doubt, understand his side and feelings, be a good listener, and stay calm in heated situations.

Secret 4: Talk less

Women love to talk and it is more than okay to have conversation with our husbands…in fact that is a huge need for most women. However, at the same time we need to learn our husband’s language which is “man-ese”.  Communication is different for men and women. If the conversation is about gossip and things that we normally talk about with our girlfriend’s, and we are going on and on with the same topic…they are going to tune us out. It is just the way men are wired. They are not good at having useless conversations. Remember at times, we need to be short and direct…he should definitely pay more attention to this type of conversation.

Secret 5: Have lots of sex

Sex is the glue that makes the marriage stick. No, it is not everything and you can’t just have good sex. However, it is very important in healthy marriages. Everyone has different sexual needs and you should be in tune with them. You should never neglect sex or use it as a reward. Affection throughout the day and sex are really the glue that makes the marriage stick and makes it better.

Secret 6: Take charge of your own happiness

You can choose to be positive and happy and infect your home with it too. Have realistic expectations in your marriage and know that love changes and has different stages. You will not always be head over heels in love with your spouse. Commitment and mature love does allow you to return to those in love feelings. However, remember, relationships take work and need your time and commitment to maintain a good relationship. The happiness level in your home begins with you.

Secret 7: Heal thyself

You can’t take care of your family if you don’t take good care of yourself. Research says the happiest married women are the women who have positive friends, are physically active, involved in life, and open to spirituality. You cannot feel resentful, victimized, angry, lonely, or depressed as a person and turn around and expect to be a happily married woman. It is impossible. So you have to find ways to increase your level of personal happiness that in ways support your marital happiness. Women who take care of themselves, and feel good about their bodies, are a lot more attractive to their men.

By applying what you have read above, every woman can understand and learn how to bring out the best in a man. You can create more marital happiness and have a more passionate and satisfying relationship. You can better understand why some of the things you do will not get through to your husband and what you can do differently to get better results. Learn your husband and use it to your advantage. Know him well enough to figure out how to get through to him and how to improve your life together through your actions and words. That is what marital happiness is all about!