Fall in love, stay in love

Basic Concept 1: The Love Bank

¢ Our words and actions towards each other.  We need to focus on depositing in the love bank and avoid withdrawals from the love bank.

¢ Almost everything we do affects our love for each other, positively or negatively.

¢ The concepts below will help you make deposits instead of withdrawals into each other’s love bank.

Basic Concept 2:  Insticts & Habits

¢ Instincts are behavioral patterns that we are born with, and habits are patterns we learn.

¢ Our instincts and habits make up most of our behavior, and our behavior makes the deposits and withdrawals.

¢ It’s important to learn the habits that make deposits and avoid withdrawals.

¢ Stop destructive instincts and habits in their tracks. Instincts are harder to stop, but both can be avoided.

Basic Concept 3: The Most Important Emotional Needs

¢ You must learn and meet each other’s most important emotional needs.  

¢ Do what makes each other happy and avoid doing what makes each other unhappy.

¢ Speak each other’s love language. 

¢ Stay on the rewarding cycle and energizing cycle by meeting each others needs. Avoid the crazy cycle by making meeting needs a priority. The crazy cycle is the woman's cry for love and the man's cry for respect. Making sure both are always given avoids the crazy cycle.  

Basic Concept 4: The Policy of Undivided Attention

¢ Give your spouse a min of 15 hours a week, using time to meet emotional needs.  Make time alone a high priority.

¢ This policy will help you avoid a big mistake of neglecting each other. This is a necessary ingredient in marriage.

¢ Without time for undivided attention, you will not be able to avoid love busters and negotiate effectively.

Basic Concept 5:  Love Busters

¢ Guard your account in your spouse’s love bank from withdrawals by paying close attention to how your everyday behavior can make each other unhappy.

¢ By eliminating love busters you will be protecting your spouse’s love for you.

¢ Avoid disrespect, dishonesty, nagging, yelling, arguing, demanding, selfishness.