The Five Love Languages

1) Words of Affirmation
2) Quality Time
3) Receiving gifts
4) Acts of Service
5) Physical Touch

1)      Words of Affirmation: Compliments, words of encouragement, and requests rather than demands affirm the self-worth of your spouse.

2)     Quality Time: Spending quality time together through sharing, listening, and participating in joint meaningful activities communicates that we truly care for and enjoy each other.

3)     Receiving Gifts: Gifts are tangible symbols of love, whether they are items you purchased or made, or are merely your own presence made available to your spouse. Gifts demonstrate that you care, and they represent the value of the relationship.

4)     Acts of Service: Cooking a meal, ironing a shirt, keeping the house clean, and paying the bills all speak volumes of love to the man or woman whose love language is acts of service. If this is your spouse’s love language, he or she will become frustrated when certain household duties go undone and will feel like a million bucks to sit down to his or her favorite meal.

5)     Physical Touch: Physical touch is more than sexual. It is holding his or her hand, touching his or her shoulder, giving him or her a hug, patting his or her back, or snuggling next to him or her while watching TV.

Speaking each other’s love language

Ask your partner what speaks love to him or her. You may be surprised. You may think that keeping the house clean or cooking yummy meals says love when what he or she really wants is quality time or words of affirmation. If your partner can’t tell you what their love language is, ask them what they long for or wished they had more of.

When we choose active expressions of love in the primary love language of our spouse, we create an emotional climate where we can deal with our past conflicts and failures. When we speak each others love language, we allow for closeness and intimacy in our relationship. Discovering the primary love language of your spouse is essential if you are to keep their "emotional love bank" full. (Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch)

Meeting each others needs and speaking each others love language is a choice you make each and every day. The most important choice in a great relationship is to make the decision to really learn about each other. When I say "learn", I mean learn and understand what your partner's needs and love languages are. Happily married couples have learned each others emotional needs and love languages. They choose each day to remember the needs of one another and to meet them as best as they can. They choose to speak the love language of their partner. They choose to give 100 % and not 50 %. Little things have a big outcome on marital happiness. Do you express affection freely and frequently? The outcome of doing so is two happy and fulfilled people who enjoy giving and learning about each other. They have figured out what so many fail to figure out. They have allowed their relationship to grow deeper with closeness, oneness, friendship, and intimacy.

To learn what your love languages are, click on the link below:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/30-second-quizzes/love/


A couple's story...

“We don’t ever do anything together anymore; he’s always gone. Our communication is almost non-existant.” That was her perspective. But he had a different story. He said, “If we could get our sex life straightened out, everything else would be fine.” What they didn’t realize is that they were both asking for the same thing – intimacy.

For him, intimacy meant sex. For her it meant quality time. With learning more about each other and a change of attitude, this couple found what they were looking for. In short, they discovered how to speak each other’s love language. What about you? If you long for more intimacy wouldn’t it be worth learning more about each other? Find out what your love languages really are and learn what your needs are?

(Dr. Gary Chapman, The five love languages)

(Willard Harley, His needs/Her needs)