Have you ever wondered sometimes "what the heck is going on between us"? If you have, you were most likely experiencing the crazy cycle in marriage.
Crazy cycle is the man’s cry for respect and the woman’s cry for love. Because husband and wife see and hear differently, they can’t easily decode the signals they send each other. The result is the crazy cycle: without love (her deepest need), she reacts without respect (his deepest need); without respect (his deepest need), he reacts without love (her deepest need). The crazy cycle is always there, ready to spin. The key is: knowing how to spot trouble before it starts, how to keep the crazy cycle in its cage.
Energizing cycle is when you energize each other with love and respect.
Rewarding cycle is when you can enjoy the rewards of a healthy and fulfilling marriage.
It is very important to know that a husband needs respect; he is not trying to be unloving. A wife needs to feel loved, she is not trying to be disrespectful. The “issue” is not the real issue at all. Once you grasp this principle, you have cracked the communication code.
A good question for men to keep in mind is: Have I said or done something to make my wife feel unloved?
A good question for women to keep in mind is: Have I said or done something to make my husband feel disrespected?
The type of person you are and what your needs and love languages are will determine how you feel loved and how you feel respected. Respect is respect though, you should always have the upmost respect for each other and your relationship.
(Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, Love & Respect)
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